The Swamps Underneath the Underneath
by Amber-and-Ash
Summary: Mizuki's lies about the graduation test leave Naruto a much more suspicious person. AU.
1. The future is a rolled up parchment

******Disclaimer: **I own nothing, make no money from anything, and am writing this purely for personal enjoyment.

**Story notes:** you know those stories that replace Naruto with a whole different character who just happens to have the same name? Well, here's another one.

**Warning:** I don't watch or read the source series, so in addition to the obvious AU of the whole story, you will also trip over randomly AU (AKA 'wrong') facts. Feel free to tell me about them, though, and I'll see if I can fix them without breaking the story.

* * *

**Chapter 1: The future is a rolled up parchment**

Naruto had been running the ragged edge of his emotions for more than a day. It had started with the anxiety of taking the test and the depression of failing. Then there was the exaltation at the retest, the determination and then frustration of the scroll, and the relief for his eventual success. Finally, there was the horror of betrayal, and the grief and fear for his tenant. The only thing that had kept him together was the constant action. And now, like a light switched off, everything was over. Mizuki-sensei was defeated, Iruka-sensei was safe, and he was only one person again.

"Close your eyes," Iruka-sensei said to him.

Confused, Naruto obeyed. _Stupid,_ he cursed himself instantly. Had the previous half hour not taught him anything? Don't trust anyone. He snapped them open and shoved Iruka-sensei away before he could to tie something around his head. Iruka-sensei groaned, and Naruto winced in sympathy. Okay, maybe he shouldn't have pushed the injured man, but Iruka-sensei shouldn't have been doing weird stuff to him either.

"What are you doing?"

"Making you a genin."

Naruto half slipped, the grass under his feet slick with fluids he'd rather not think about. If only that could be true then Naruto would be the happiest person in Konoha. But it couldn't. He steadied himself against a tree trunk and spoke without looking at Iruka-sensei. "You know, this has been a really, really bad day. I didn't think you'd be mean enough to mock me about it."

"I'm not mocking you, Naruto. I'm really making you a genin."

Iruka-sensei sounded awfully sincere. Even a little hurt. And he had said all those things about how he understood what Naruto was going through, and how he acknowledged him as his student…

No. Iruka-sensei was a ninja after all, and had already proven he could fool Naruto when he wanted to. Naruto couldn't carry on making all his decisions based on what would make people like him because they just used that against him. He would have to think things through logically.

"That doesn't make any sense. Today, despite being one of the bestest students at the academy, you refused to pass me because I couldn't do just _one_ of those stupid jutsu. You said I would just get killed as a ninja. I thought you really believed that! And, what, _now_ it's all okay? Why? Because you finally realised I'm lonely? Because Mizuki-teme was a prick to me? Because I found out about the Kyuubi and didn't go on a murdering rampage? What?"

"Well, you did succeed at the Kage Bunshin."

"I've succeeded at far more difficult jutsu than that before. Hell, I've _created_ more difficult jutsu than that. But it was always 'those don't count, Naruto. Those aren't real jutsu, Naruto. Shut up and sit down, Naruto.'"

"Naruto..."

Naruto heard the thump of Iruka-sensei sitting down again. He waited for Iruka-sensei to continue, not willing to let go of his anger or the argument just yet. If they'd been holding him back all this time because of a stupid fox trapped in his tummy, he needed to know that they weren't just promoting him now for the same reason. Iruka-sensei said nothing more. It felt like the whole world was holding its breath, the crickets ceasing their drone and only a muffled dripping breaking the silence. His patience wore out and he turned to see Iruka-sensei slumped against a tree, the early morning sun giving him a halo of light.

Iruka-sensei wasn't giving Naruto the silent treatment; he was unconscious.

"Shit. Damn it. Shit. Okay, let's get you to hospital and let everyone know I'm not a traitor. Or at least convince them I didn't steal the scroll, since I can't expect miracles. If they don't have a kill-on-sight order on me or something."

Naruto summoned another half dozen clones, and managed to henge one into a stretcher. His mind tried to wander into pranks he could play using this new technique, but he recalled it firmly to duty_._ One clone set about tying up Mizuki-teme and finished by sitting on him. The remaining four picked up Iruka-sensei, while the real Naruto applied pressure to the wound on his back. It wasn't closing up the way his wounds always did, but this was what they had said to do in that pointless first aid section, so maybe this kind of thing happened often? Iruka-sensei's breathing also sounded weird, but he had no idea what to do about that, so he just ignored it. He set off back into the gloom of the forest, the shadows darkening as the sun continued to rise.

Less than five minutes later (after tripping over only one tree root and dispelling only one clone by running into a tree!) Naruto found them suddenly surrounded by ANBU. Without giving him a chance to even open his mouth, they took Iruka away from him and picked him up bodily. He shouted and wriggled to get away, but one of the masked freaks had his arms trapped and another kept a solid grip on his legs. So much for that, then. They wouldn't be treating a real Shinobi of the leaf like this, Naruto was sure. That didn't mean he was going to give up, though, and the ANBU holding his arms started twisting one. But pain wouldn't stop him either, and it wasn't until he realised he was being taken into the Hokage's tower that he stopped struggling. It was where he wanted to go, after all, even if he didn't appreciate the transportation.

They took him straight through into the office and Naruto eyed Jiji's soft and comfortable chair longingly. It was tomorrow already, and the sudden warmth of the room felt like a physical weight on his battered body.

"Jiji! It wasn't me! I mean, it was me, but it wasn't my fault!"

"Relax, Naruto. You've done very well tonight."

"Oh." Naruto found himself unceremoniously dumped on the wooden floor. Naruto scrambled to his feet. "Ow! That hurt! Where do you bastards get off thinking you can just—"

"Naruto," reprimanded Jiji.

"But—".

"Enough. Thank you, ANBU-san-tachi. Please report back to your captains."

Naruto glared at them as they faded back into the shadows. Damn mute bullies. As soon as they were out of sight, he turned back to Jiji, his words practically falling over each other as he rushed to tell his story. He was well into the third explanation of just how much of a bastard Mizuki-teme was when the Jiji interrupted him.

"Well, that does sound very exciting. After all that work, we should let you get some sleep now, hmmm? After all, we need our genins to be well-rested."

"You mean you really are making me a genin?" asked Naruto, quietly.

"Yes, Naruto. Your performance tonight shows you deserve it. I'm very proud of you for defending Iruka-sensei like that."

Naruto couldn't keep eye contact, staring instead at the fine haze drifting away from Jiji's pipe. Naruto couldn't just accept that either man had his best interests at heart, not anymore. But the memory of what he now realised was blood dripping into leaves while he was busy being self-absorbed made him squirm. The floor beneath him creaked as he shifted his weight.

"Is... is he going to be okay?"

"He'll be just fine. Probably cursing us already for letting him get trapped by the medic-nins. Now, Naruto, just because you are now a genin, that isn't any reason to stop working at the things you are weak in."

Before Naruto could say anything more, he was loaded up with documents and information packs and escorted firmly out the door. He walked at half speed back to his apartment, touching the hitae he had been given every few seconds. He was glad that Iruka-sensei was going to be okay, and he was very glad that the man hadn't lied to him, and he really was going to be a genin. Unless Jiji was just in on the joke. No, that was too much. They wouldn't do that to him. He was pretty sure. But could they do it that way even if they wanted to? Every time he asked Jiji for anything, Jiji was always telling him how it was against the rules and he couldn't do that. He'd been too gullible to investigate when Mizuki-teme made his suggestion, and he wasn't going to be caught the same way again. Although he was a little doubtful about his ability to do it. The rules and laws of Konoha they'd been given in class had just been so _confusing_.

Wait! He'd had only minor problems understanding the Forbidden Scroll – maybe he'd have similar luck with other scrolls if, instead of asking for them, he _stole_ them. Then no one would ever be able to fool him with fake tests again! And it wasn't like the reference room was a secure location. He had a few days before he had to be back at the academy for team assignments. He was going to go all out on this, and be the most informed genin on the rules of Konoha ever! Believe it!

* * *

Orochimaru tapped the communication from his former superior thoughtfully. Danzo had finally agreed to assist him with the 'invasion' of Konoha, in exchange for certain targets being destroyed, and others left intact. He could do this now, for the next change of his body. Bringing his plans forward would just mean increasing his control of the Kazekage. Even the most eager of war hawks would eventually notice that the invasion plans weren't actually intended to succeed. He didn't need the man asking uncomfortable questions about his true intentions.

He was a little worried about _Danzo's_ true intentions, however. The man wasn't nearly as clever as he thought he was, but his twisted logic and need to play puppet master did make him unpredictable. Orochimaru pulled out the intelligence reports from Konoha from about when Danzo would have made his decision. Ahh. This might be it. Hatake Kakashi was going to be assigned a team including the Kyuubi brat and the Last Uchiha. The Jinchuuriki would be passing this year, no matter what his scores might say, and would then be promptly whisked out of Danzo's control. Honestly, the man had a monomania about the brat that rivalled the Akatsuki's. That was fine, though. He didn't care what Danzo intended to do about the Kyuubi brat as long as he left the Uchiha brat alone for Orocimaru to pick up.

The Chuunin Exams presented themselves as an obvious opportunity, so Orochimaru didn't need to fake a cleverer plan for his chaos. Other people might have considered it a risk to assume that Hatake Kakashi would nominate his cute little students, but Orochimaru had detailed files on the man. Sasuke-chan would be nicely present and conveniently isolated; Konoha itself conspiring to gift him to Orochimaru. Orochimaru wouldn't be rude enough to refuse.

* * *

Itachi stalked out of the meeting, not even bothering to conceal his fury. Something was going on with Orochimaru and some of the other members knew about it and _weren't telling him_. He wasn't Sasori, to go off hunting the bastard just because he heard the name. He was one of the most stable members of Akatsuki, and he deserved to hear what was happening with the person who had tried to steal his body.

Madara wasn't starting to suspect anything, was he? No, not more than usual, Itachi decided. He'd have been Jinchuuriki chow by now if Madara had. But something was going on, and they were keeping it from him. It seemed like the value of his position here was decreasing by the day.

Itachi indulged in an unusual physical display of irritation, and regretted it at once. He fumed impotently though the long moments it took for him to recover his breath. At this rate, he would die of the damn illness before Sasuke got anywhere. He'd sworn to himself that he would give his life to make Sasuke strong enough to battle Madara. He just hadn't expected everything would take this long. Itachi cursed the peace-time policies for recruiting ninjas. His little brother had almost reached the age at which Itachi has been forced to kill the clan and was only _now_ graduating from the academy. Itachi closed his eyes.

No. He would have faith. He would find out what was being hidden from him. He would see his brother grow strong – stronger than Itachi. Itachi would be there to make sure of it. Madara would not win.


	2. Compromise is an act of mutual cowardice

**********Disclaimer: **I own nothing, make no money from anything, and am writing this purely for personal enjoyment.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Compromise is an act of mutual cowardice**

Sasuke did his best to ignore the rest of his classmates as he waited in the overcrowded room. They were a little subdued due to the presence of some Chuunin sitting at the back of the class, but not as much as they would have been if Iruka had been like he was supposed to be. He glanced covertly at the Chuunin who was studying quietly from what looked like the Konoha Code, ignoring the chaos around him. Was he here to give them an introduction? Was he here to balance the teams? They were one person short, after all. It might even be his team – after all he was far too advanced for the normal Genin graduates here.

Iruka swept in and shortly announced the teams, cruelly dashing his hopes of competent teammates. Not only was he placed with a fan girl, but also with an idiot he thought had failed the exam. He didn't want to reveal that he cared by asking, but fortunately the fan girl decided to serve some small purpose:

"Iruuuukkka-seeennnnsei, why do we have to be on a team with that moron? He isn't even here! Sasuke-kun and I will manage far better on our own."

"The teams are chosen to be balanced, Sakura-chan, and I think you'll find your team mate will be with you for your introductions."

Well, that explained whole lot of nothing. He was so advanced they had to stick him with a loser and a psycho just to make him average? How did that even make any sense? The fan girl pestered him all through the introductory information (tiresome), and then lunch (necessary). To top off the very disappointing day, he was then stuck with her in the classroom for hours, waiting for their instructor with only the Chuunin to distract her rabid affection. And since the Chuunin was fully occupied reading and taking notes, he wasn't proving anywhere near enough of the distraction Sasuke thought he should have been honour bound to provide.

"Yo!"

Sasuke actually startled. A freak that managed to mask three-quarters of his face. Please let this be someone to tell them their sensei would meet them later, please let this be—

"My first impression is... you bore me. Alright, meet me on the roof in five minutes."

– someone other than their Jounin teacher. Sasuke let his head thump down onto the desk.

"Sensei? Our third team mate isn't here."

"Oh yeah, that reminds me. You! That outfit's still against the rules. Too many idiots won't read your 'I am not a Chuunin' nametag."

Sasuke couldn't help himself. He turned around to stare at the boy at the back, who was, indeed, wearing a nametag with those words on it.

"Oh, okay," said the boy. The clothes warped around him and settled back to a dull and serious-looking shinobi outfit, leaving his face and hair untouched. He'd never seen a henge work that way before. Was he really expected to believe this was Naruto?

"Hey, hey, does 'no material gain' mean I'm not allowed to buy stuff looking like this?"

"No, it means you can't look like a Hyuuga to get the clan discounts when buying something. Didn't your teachers teach you anything?"

"Stupid teachers never teach anything important. And when they do, they're making up stuff to make you look bad!"

Yes, that was Naruto alright. Sasuke winced as Sakura yelled at Naruto to be more respectful and hit Naruto over the head. When he looked back, their new sensei had disappeared. He sighed, and set about gathering his stuff together.

"Oi, dead last. Why are you dressed like that?"

"Because stupid rules make it illegal to appear higher ranked than you are outside of 'formal training'. You're not allowed to do it even in front of enemy ninja! Seriously, how stupid is that?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Not why aren't you dressed as a Chuunin anymore, dummy, why are you henged at all?"

"I wasn't going to put up with everyone making stupid comments about me not passing the test."

"But you didn't pass the test."

"Yeah, so? I'm still a Genin. You think you'd've figured that out when I got put on your team."

Great, he really was on a team with someone who couldn't even pass a test he could have managed at the age of eight. He was starting to think he saw the sense in this. He was an Uchiha, and this was the easiest way to get him killed. Or, since even they could think They'd succeed so easily, the easiest way to make him unimportant. To make him weak. He'd just see about that.

They settled on top of the roof, in plain view of anyone who cared to look up. Any number of people could be listening in, and Sasuke wouldn't be able to tell. Perhaps it wasn't surprising that the team introductions were as useless as his new teammates. Sasuke forced himself to hold still, and not reveal how uncomfortable he was. The roof-top was hard and alternately boiling and freezing, depending whether it was in the sun or the shade. On his skin, the heat of the sun and the chill of the wind reached an uneasy compromise and a bit of something was digging into his thigh. By the time 'Kakashi-sensei' had made his melodramatic announcement and equally melodramatic exit, Sasuke was starting to wonder if this, right now, was the additional Genin test. It certainly had all the earmarks of psychological torture. A hawk screeched above them, and Sasuke just knew it was a summon laughing at them.

"Ha. So that's how they weed out all the non-clan graduates. I'd wondered."

Sasuke turned back, not sure whether he should reward the idiot with attention. "What are you on about, dead-last?"

"What I said. There are like four non-clan ninjas in the records, but there are like twenty in our class alone. I was wondering where they all went."

The fan girl promptly hit Naruto. "Don't be an idiot, Konoha wouldn't do something like that."

Sasuke walked away and down the steps, not giving himself the few minutes for his eyes to adapt. He wasn't going to reveal anything to the two dead-weights, but he was thinking about what Naruto had said. If They wanted to fail him they'd target his weakness, so he should be prepared. Sasuke considered that thought, and then shook his head. No. Not his weaknesses. They'd try to use his strengths against him. He might not be able to ignore this lot and become a proper ninja alone after all.

* * *

Sakura knew that this was the defining moment to see whether she got Sasuke-kun. She was early to the meeting point and hadn't slept much. Nerves for the exam had played a part, but her mind had been mostly occupied with the talk she'd had with her mother. For the first time in a long time she'd actually listened without dismissing what her mother had to say as the usual attempts to discourage Sakura from becoming a ninja. She shivered in the pre-dawn light, wishing she'd added a jacket to her already overflowing bag. She told herself to calm down. She'd be important today. She had news. She just had to hope her teammates would arrive before their instructor so she could share it.

Sasuke and Naruto arrived together from opposite directions, and Sakura beckoned them closer so she could speak quietly. She didn't see Kakashi-sensei anywhere about but it still paid to be cautious. Sasuke reluctantly edged an inch closer and Inner Sakura cheered at the progress.

"Okay, so you know my Mom is on the training oversight committee?"

They stared at her with no indication that they knew any such thing or cared now that they knew. Inner Sakura stopped cheering and returned to sulking in the corner.

"So I asked her about it. She didn't want to tell—"

"Asked her about what?"

"You know! That thing that Naruto said. That this test is actually just a way to weed out all the non-clan graduates."

"You actually believed the dead last?"

She cringed back at Sasuke's disapproval, but this was important. "I asked my Mom to find out whether he was right or not. And she showed me the records. Kakashi-sensei was telling the truth about the failure rate being an average of 66%, but that's misleading. Once you split it out, it becomes an 86% failure rate for non-clan members, but only about 20% failure rate for clan members. She says that every time the civilians complain about it, all the Jounin-sensei can prove that the clan members passed the same tests that the non-clan members are given and fail. Then things just degenerate into an argument between those who are convinced the non-clan members are prejudiced against, and those that are convinced that clan members are simply more skilled, and—"

"So what exactly are we supposed to do now?"

Inner Sakura wanted to hit Sasuke for interrupting her Important News. Outer Sakura took a deep breath and skipped to the end. "If it's all rigged like Naruto thinks, then we can't do anything. But if it _is_ a genuine test, then I figure it must be some kind of trick that the clan families would warn their kids about. I think when our sensei tells us what the test is, we should think it over really, really carefully to see if we can spot it."

"Wow! That's awesome, Sakura-chan! You—"

"Shut up, Naruto."

Sasuke-kun had edged away from her again and was staring determinedly in another direction. Sakura tried unsuccessfully to engage him in conversations a few times before giving up. He'd listened to her earlier. All she had to do was find the trick in the test, and Sasuke-kun would realise how much he needed her and how wonderful they could be together.

It was this determination that stopped her from beating Naruto up when he dragged her into the bushes as soon as the test started. Sasuke-kun evaded Naruto's other arm but came with them anyway. Sakura's jaw dropped when Naruto tossed off a few hand seals and a perfectly accurate clone of each one of them went zooming off back towards Kakashi-sensei.

"There, that should keep Sensei busy."

"How did you do that?"

"Ummm… a jutsu?"

"But you suck at making clones!"

"Just normal clones. Those are shadow clones. They're awesome and solid and all. So what's the trick, huh? Huh?"

That's what she wanted to know! She was about to make her displeasure known more physically when she realised he was talking about the trick in the test, not in his inexplicable competency.

"Maybe there isn't any trick, deadlast. Maybe it's exactly as Sensei said."

"It's definitely a trick." Both boys turned to stare at her, and Sakura flushed up to her ear tips. "We pass or fail as a team. If you fail, there's a chance you'll be picked up as an apprentice or some such, but this test doesn't have individual scores."

"You're sure about that?" asked Sasuke.

Inner Sakura shouted insults about him doubting her. Knowledge was _her_ speciality. "Yes. I'm sure."

"Maybe… maybe we're supposed to just go buy three bells."

She opened her mouth, then frowned and shut it again. She ran through the 'rules' he'd explained to them again. "No, he said we had to take them off him."

"He could be lying," said Naruto, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting.

"Sure, we could win this test by going out for Ramen," drawled Sasuke.

"You think?"

"No, idiot, don't you—"

"But," said Sakura, interrupting another incipient fight, "he just said we had to _get_ them from him. He didn't say anything about keeping them. One of us could get them, give them back, then the others could get them the next time."

"What happens if we only succeed once? Who gets the bells?"

Sakura wanted to offer hers up to Sasuke-kun as proof of her devotion, but bit back the impulse. She didn't want to be separated from him either, and if earlier was any indication he'd be more impressed with a clever solution. "Have it so no one knows. Use Naruto's idea of buying an extra bell, them when we get the original two, we mix them up and hand them out."

"Hn."

Inner Sakura was doing a victory dance, and Outer Sakura grinned. That was a definite agreement. Sasuke-kun had agreed with her plan! Her plan! They were going to be together in no time.

* * *

Kakashi was amused. This was the first time he'd ever had a team actually try to cheat. He'd been tempted to pass them right then and there, just for the guts that had shown. Still, tradition was tradition, and he'd gone through with the second part and tied Naruto to the pole for the 'crime' of simply buying three bells. He'd been impressed that not only had the team fed him, they'd also done a scan of their environment to check for is presence. Not that they'd been good enough to actually detect him of course. And now they'd gone back to untie Naruto! He followed them discretely, interested in what had led to all this.

"So, did we pass for showing teamwork, or did we pass because we disobeyed orders?" asked Sasuke.

"Who cares?" answered Naruto, still busy stretching out his limbs after being tied up for so long.

"I think we passed before we even arrived. It's exactly a 33% pass rate, remember? So if it was a genuine test, how would he have known we'd passed or failed before he even spoke to the other Jounin sensei?" said Sakura.

"Yeah, I guess," said Naruto. "I mean, that whole teamwork moral stuff was just weird, you know? I mean, Iruka-sensei said he kept failing me because he didn't want me dying out in the field. So if someone's not ready to be a Genin, then helping them through this test is as good as killing them, right? What kind of bastard friend would do that? The whole set up is dumb."

"Sasuke-kun, what do you think?"

"I find it hard to believe that someone like Kakashi-sensei thinks that team-work and consideration for others is important."

Kakashi fumed from his hiding place. All his joy in his new team's reactions had been eviscerated. Who did they think he was? Hatake Kakashi did not participate in the post-test negotiations. If he said a team passed, then they passed, and the others could fight over the last two slots. And who did these punks think they were, insulting his Sensei's test like that? He wished he could fail them now. Unfortunately, he'd already told them they'd passed, and the Hokage had already had words with him. What could he say? 'I failed them because they thought I was lying to them even more often than I actually was?' No, they'd stay passed. All he could do was give them the worst of the D-rank missions. For a long time. A very long time.

* * *

**Author notes:**

Yes, I'll be giving into the impulse to explain things that just don't make sense in the original series. Here, how Kakashi could know there'd only be nine graduates, but still be able to pass/fail the team without consulting anyone. Obviously it's because he's an entitled jerk. How else?

It makes a lot of sense to me that Sasuke started being paranoid about 'people keeping him deliberately weak' from a young age, and I find it reasonable that it isn't just paranoia on his part. I've therefore presented as true without apology here. Hopefully it doesn't strike people as being too OOC.


	3. An elegant plan is an unnoticed plan

******Disclaimer:**I own nothing, make no money from anything, and am writing this purely for personal enjoyment.

* * *

**Chapter 3: An elegant plan is an unnoticed plan**

Sakura was the most educated person in her class. She was tempted to say 'the most intelligent', but there was always that nagging unknown of Shikamaru who refused to compete. Regardless, she had the best results and the deepest background knowledge, in conscious defiance of her non-clan status. She planned to be an excellent ninja because she knew more and could think better than anyone else. That plan was the underpinning of her entire self-image. And Naruto had attached an explosive tag to it.

The tag had had a long detonator. She'd been so caught up in the achievement ofverifying what Naruto had said and spotting the trick that had (possibly) let them all pass that she had forgotten the obvious. It wasn't until she was reminding herself that she wasn't uselessness, despite a certain lack of… well, excellence in the field, that she had spotted the problem. She'd _verified_ Naruto's information. She hadn't known about the information to start with.

Her arguments for awesomeness started collapsing around her at that point. Her knowledge might, maybe, perhaps, not be enough. But what else was she supposed to use? She wasn't as physically fit as either of the two boys and never would be. Her jutsu might still be more precise than Naruto's, but… Yes. But. _But_ no one cared. _But_ the difference that made in a fight was a fart in a thunderstorm. _But_ she her jutsu were still useless. She needed to prove that she was a good ninja. She needed to prove that she was at least a better ninja than _Naruto_. She needed a plan.

The next morning, in the hours before Kakashi-sensei would arrive, she put her hands on her hips and confronted her primary target.

"I think that we should work on the basics. All of us should know the Bunshin-Henge-Kawamiri. And none of that nonsense about how they aren't the simplest jutsu," she said. She was so busy staring at Naruto that she actually jumped when Sasuke-kun spoke up.

"They aren't."

"What?"

"They aren't the _simplest_. They're what the idiots claim are the most 'useful'. The trifecta of assassination. Bunshin to give you an alibi, Henge to get you close to the target, Kawamiri to escape if it all goes wrong. The syllabus was created back when ninja missions were still about spying on and killing civilians. They're utterly useless now that most ninja missions are fighting other ninja. But They don't want students coming out of the academy with the power to defeat other ninja, because that would make them dangerous to Konoha itself."

"I'm sure that's not…" Sakura stumbled to a halt under Sasuke-kun's disapproval. Inner Sakura threw a tantrum, so she started again. "That can't be _all_ the missions."

"All the missions given to _good_ ninja."

"But we aren't—I mean, no one realises that we're good ninja yet. So we'll be assigned missions against civilians in the beginning. So we should learn to do those really, really well, so everyone will realise how good we are."

Sakura did understand where he was coming from. She had herself grown up with stories of Konoha ninja defending people from wicked foreign ninja. Was she was recommending they practice killing unprotected people for personal gain? She felt faintly sick. Maybe…

No. She was a ninja. She was. And this was the path to becoming a good ninja.

"Hn."

"So." She returned to her plan. "Naruto, show me your regular bunshin."

"Aw, Sakura, my Kage-bunshin are way better anyway."

"Not if I want to through a kunai through them to hit an enemy."

"But—"

Out of reasonable arguments, she abandoned the rational approach. "Just do it, Naruto."

Three sickly clones appeared, and Sakura stared at them. They weren't the almost-there she'd expected from seeing her classmates failures. They were distorted somehow instead. Well, the usual problem was the wrong amount of chakra, so it was worth measuring for that first.

"Okay, let them go."

She perfomed the bunshin herself, then picked up a pebble, and floated it above her hand. She dropped it, performed the bunshin again, and then picked up a slightly bigger one, alternating until she could replicate exactly what she wanted to test.

"Ummm, Sak—"

"Shhh." There. This pebble was it. "Okay, try float—actually wait, let me find another one of the same weight first."

She wasn't doing this whole process again just because the idiot managed to lose the pebble. " Okay, here, pretend you're going to make a bunshin, and channel the chakra to your hands without making a seal."

Naruto looked confused, and she wondered briefly if she'd have to explain what chakra was and how to channel it. Still, he mimicked her position, so she'd give him the benefit of the doubt for a bit.

"Ready?"

He nodded, and she placed the pebble above his upturned palms. It immediately shot up and was lost from sight.

Ha. Wrong amount of chakra, indeed. "You're using much, much, too much chakra, idiot."

"But Sukara-chan, how can I—"

"Don't move yet."

The same training as increasing the amount of chakra, but in reverse. She came back with a stone the size of two fists. It started moving upwards, but at a slow enough rate that she could take it back out the air.

"Create a kage-bunshin to place the stone and take it away again. They are solid enough for that, right?"

"Yeah, they should be."

"Good. While I find some in-between size stones, I want you to work on releasing only enough chakra to keep this one hovering just above your hands."

She was getting quite a workout herself, scurrying about collecting stones and pebbles, but at length Naruto was hovering the correct-sized pebble. A little unsteadily, it had to be admitted, but hovering, none the less.

"Okay, can you remember how much chakra that is? Can you do it again?"

"Yes, Sakura-chan, sheesh."

"Now using only that much chakra, not a single bit more, run through the hand-seals for the bunshin."

Naruto did as he was ordered. Even though it had been the result she had been working towards, she was shocked when three, perfectly formed bunshin popped into existence. How could this… this person pull it off so perfectly, on what was effectively his first try? She'd set out to teach him, sure, but she hadn't expected to succeed so quickly.

"Whoohoo! I did it! Sakura, you're a genius! Of course it was just because I'm so amazing, but—"

"Yes, yes."

Naruto didn't even wait for her to finish before bouncing over to show off to Sasuke-kun. With no one looking at her, Sakura wilted. Inner Sakura was trying to tell her what an awesome teacher she'd made, but Outer Sakura knew better. With the barest of instruction, Naruto had achieved his goal. It didn't matter whether it meant she was awesome as a teacher or he was awesome as a ninja. She didn't _want_ to be a teacher. Naruto did want to be a ninja. Even compared to the dead-last, compared to a _failure_, she sucked.

* * *

Naruto sighed. The thrill of learning (finally!) to do the Bunshin had worn off within a few hours of doing missions. Missions were just _that bad_. They were the anti-joy. Dream-killers. Soul-suckers.

"Stupid, bloody, time-wasting, boring, _stupid_ missions. I don't care what the civilians think of us, we shouldn't—"

"What the civilians think of us?" interrupted Sasuke-teme, his frown deepening a little from its usual setting.

Sakura jumped in to explain, so Naruto left her to it. She was good at things like that. "One of the primary reasons for genin to perform chores rather than training simulations is public relations with the civilian members of the village. These are the missions they witness most often, so it conditions them to think of ninja as dog-walkers and baby-sitters rather than thieves and murderers."

"So they're just a waste of our time?"

"Not at all. They provide us with many benefits. They train us to work with each other until we have a subconscious awareness of each other and our relative positions. They establish a record of our functioning as a team when considered for later, more important, missions. They give us the basic training in half a dozen civilian occupations for when we want to disguise ourselves. They provide a method for Konoha to give us a living stipend despite us not being yet doing missions for real clients."

"Who are you quoting?"

"My mother," confessed Sakura with a small blush. "But it's all true. And we can petition for a C rank soon."

"Those are even worse," said Naruto.

"Worse?"

"Yep. Because the C ranks they give new genins are just like D ranks, but longer. And you're not allowed to train while on missions."

"What? You can't be serious."

"Of course I'm serious, teme. We're supposed to reserve our chakra and attention for the mission goals. If the team leader gets really nasty and puts you 'on alert', then you aren't allowed to use chakra for anything else. Not lighting a fire, not keeping the rain off you, not cleaning your clothes." And Naruto could just bet that Kakashi-sensei would take great glee in being a bastard.

"If we take lots of D-ranks, would that reduce the number of stupid C-ranks they send us on?"

Naruto blinked. Was Sasuke-teme having a real conversation with him? Actually asking him things and stuff? "Yeah, it should."

"Then why can't we start taking more?"

"Money. Most D-ranks are subsidised by the office, and they make sure to spread them around. It's that Genin stipend thing Sakura was talking about."

"But if it's a good will thing, they must have more requests than they can actually afford, right? What if we volunteer to do additional D-ranks for free?"

Naruto thought about that and shrugged. They both turned to Sakura.

"I don't know either," she said. "But I'll ask my mother."

Sasuke-teme nodded at her, but that must have filled up his 'being a human being' quota for the day and he turned and walked off without another word. Naruto quietly made his own way home, still considering the 'build up our mission record' plan. It might work. Naruto's investigation had taught him not to assume the worst. No, wait, that was being too generous. It had taught him that the worst wasn't necessarily personal.

Like when he had discovered that his medical treatment was 'deprioritised'. He'd been all ready to storm into Jiji's office, but then he had found out it was because he had 'innate accelerated healing'. Unlike all those other schlubs who were marked down for being on the losing side of political battles or for being of 'diminished economic/combative worth'.

Or like his training. Sure, he'd received poor and occasionally down right wrong instructions, but it was just self-centeredness to think he was the only one. A good half the class had gone through their entire academy career being ignored, only to be failed out before becoming 'proper' Genin. Every year added dozens of ninja to the rolls who never had and never would know anything but the basics. People who would never earn enough from missions and assignments to make a living from it. Konoha's unofficial reserve force. And that's what his teachers had pegged him as before he'd even had a chance to try. Him, and most of the rest of the non-clan kids.

Naruto almost bumped into someone and grimaced when he realised it was Iruka-sensei.

"Iruka-sensei."

"Naruto! Good to see you. Want to go get Ramen? My treat."

"No thank you, Iruka-Sensei."

Naruto tried to keep his feelings out of his voice, but it seemed he hadn't succeeded. Iruka-sensei's face dropped.

"Naruto, I didn't fail you because of … because of other concerns. I honestly thought if you were unable to make a bunshin, then it wouldn't be safe to promote you. It was my duty as your teacher—"

"Do you know how long it took Sakura to correct what was wrong with how I was making my Bunshins? Fifteen minutes. _Fifteen minutes_. You might have considered your duties as a teacher a little earlier."

Naruto turned away immediately, not wanting to give up his anger, but not willing to witness Iruka-sensei's reaction. Iruka-sensei didn't stop him. Naruto couldn't worry about that now. He had his training and his career to concentrate on. No one else could be trusted to help him with it, after all.

* * *

Itachi felt like tracking Danzo down and stringing him up by his toenails. The whole thing with his clan massacre had been one thing, of course, but _this_… This was just stupid. This was the very definition of short term gain for long term disadvantage.

Little peaceful villages weren't supposed to hire infamous missing ninja organisations like Akatsuki. Little poor villages weren't supposed to be targets of large scale, long term bandit attacks. Little proper villages weren't supposed to be convinced that any non-Konoha ninjas they hired would stumble co-incidentally across wandering rogues. Little powerless villages weren't supposed to have to choose between signing a long-term agreement with Konoha and mortgaging everything they owned to hire ninja powerful enough to withstand an attack from Konoha's… that is, wandering rogues. Itachi couldn't even begin to guess how many other little villages had submitted to the blackmail. This one hadn't.

And here he was, with a bandit caught in his Tsukuyomi. He therefore had all the time in the world to consider what to do with him, but that didn't help him come to a decision. This man was the legitimate target of his clients, a man who was terrorising civilians and (most grievous sin of all) a man making Konoha look bad. Unfortunately he did not believe in random bandits and co-incidental wandering rogues any more than the villagers did. And Itachi did not kill Konoha ninja.

"Uchiha-sama."

Well, there went any doubt in the matter. He walked over to face the man.

"It is an honour to finally meet you."

"Root-san. You leave me in a difficult position. "

"I am prepared to die to maintain your cover, Uchiha-sama. Any of us are."

"Any of you?"

"Yes, Uchiha-sama. Your example is an example to us all. I am so glad we could have this conversation before the curse seal activated."

Of course there was a curse seal, and of course it would activate before allowing this poor tool to speak. It didn't change things. Itachi did not kill Konoha ninja, not even by letting them die of curse seals.

"If I place you in a death state, will one of your compatriots retrieve you and return you to Danzo-sama before you die?" The honorific burned on his tongue, but he didn't need any pointless arguments with the Root member.

"Yes, Uchiha-sama."

"Very well. As punishment for getting caught and for damaging Konoha's reputation with the village, I am forbidding you from black-black operations. You may not commit any action for the next two years that Hokage-sama would disapprove of if publicly known. You are not skilled enough to achieve the illusion."

The man's face went white, and Itachi thought he might well have collapsed to his knees if he hadn't been tied to the cross.

"Yes,Uchiha-sama, it shall be as you say. I will strive with all my might to repair my inadequacies and deserve the mercy you are showing me today."

"Very well. I will be leaving a crow in your mind who will report to me as necessary. Close your eyes."

Itachi manipulated the man's mind and allowed him to fall to the ground in the real world. Things were not looking good for Konoha if Hokage-sama was allowing Danzo this much freedom. He wished…

No. It wasn't his place to second-guess his orders. He could only continue down the path he had been set on, and hope for the best.

* * *

**Author notes:**

A bit more 'explaining' – how does the financial system work anyway? Not even Naruto seems to consider financial gain much of a motive for D-ranks.

Hopefully this chapter makes it more clear that I won't be following the 'Stations of the Canon' by not having Team 7 beg for C-ranks. Expect it to divert more widely from here on out.

Thanks for reading!


	4. A delusion of competency does more damag

******Disclaimer:** I own nothing, make no money from anything, and am writing this purely for personal enjoyment.

* * *

**Chapter 4: A delusion of competency does more damage than known incompetence**

Naruto didn't find out _what_ was wrong right away, but even he was aware enough to know _something_ was wrong. Eventually he resorted to the simple tactic of following the most wrong looking person – a Shikamaru who looked all wobbly around the edges. By the time they reached the hospital, Naruto had an inkling of what type of thing was wrong. He joined Shikamaru and Hinata-chan in the waiting room without anyone finding it odd that he was there.

Naruto was still debating the merits of maintaining his cover versus revealing his ignorance to gain more information when Sakura-chan stumbled into the room from the hospital side.

"How is she?" asked Shikamaru.

"They're giving her a bath now. She hasn't woken up yet."

_She_. That reduced the number of people it could be. It could be Sakura's mom or sister or something but Shikamaru's presence suggested…

"Ano... I'm sure Ino-san will be fine," said Hinata.

Ino. He'd guessed right. He couldn't say he'd ever been close to Ino, but he knew Sakura-chan and Shikamaru were. And he knew (now) that other people didn't always just _get better_ the way he did. His stomach churned like his milk had expired again.

"No! She won't! One of the medics said it would have been better if she'd _died_."

Hinata-chan stepped back from Sakura-chan, wilting into half her size. Naruto had a urge to step in front of her, but before he could offer himself up as a sacrifice to Sakura-chan's anger, Sakura-chan had moved on to her next target.

"No more evasions, Shikamaru. You're going to be telling me exactly what happened."

Shikamaru shrugged, a slow-motion action that seemed to use all of his body.

"It was a mission, Sakura-san. She was hit in the head when a bridge exploded. You've seen the other wave country refugees."

"That much you told me last time. You _didn't_ say how a bridge came to explode when all the mission was supposed to be was protecting the builder from some bandits! You also didn't say how come she just didn't get out of the way, or why none of the rest of you protected her."

Shikamaru sighed. "One of the missing-nin had already knocked her unconscious and we…"

"Missing nin? You were fighting _missing-nin_?"

"Sakura-san, I'm not really supposed to be discussing mission det-"

"Don't. Just don't. You don't get to hide someone's screw up by claiming confidentiality of missions. No mission any genin is on contains missing-nin. That's the rules. Missing-nin? A or B rank, not-for-genin-missions. So someone screwed up, and they're not the ones paying for it. Ino is. They're talking about halting her care, did you know that? "

"They aren't going to do that," said Shikamaru, but even Naruto could see he was rattled. Sakura-chan turned her back and glared at the wall.

Naruto was used to Sakura-chan overreacting, but he couldn't tell if she was in this case. Ino was a clan-brat, and her father was pretty high up in the ninja hierarchy. Her treatment priority should be pretty high. But maybe not high enough? How expensive could looking after a sleeping person possibly be? Naruto worried at his hair. No point in wondering when he could go in and check. Actually… no point in worrying when he could go in and _change_.

Naruto slipped out the room without drawing attention to himself. He had a mission. One, worse luck, that he could never tell anyone about (images of Sakura telling him how grateful she was flashed through his head), but it would be worth it anyway. He couldn't make things right, but maybe he could keep things from becoming more wrong.

* * *

Shikamaru watched the disjointed gathering outside the Hokage's tower with muted pain. He'd known this would happen, eventually. In fact, they'd been given more time than he'd expected. It didn't make it any easier now that it was here, though. Kakashi-sensei was the last to arrive (naturally) and he immediately attempted to herd his two male students into the tower.

"But Sakura-chan isn't here yet!" protested Naruto-kun, side-stepping with a surprising amount of skill.

"We'll get to that, Naruto. Come along now."

"But-" Naruto-kun looked around and rubbed the top of his head, then paused and looked even more upset. He'd been expecting Sakura-san to hit him, Shikamaru judged. So Shikamaru had been incorrect in his assessment that she would channel her anger more appropriately after graduation. Hardly the only thing he'd been wrong about lately.

Kakashi resorted to physically man-handling the boy, but Shikamaru and Chouji-kun followed Asuma-sensei quietly in their wake. They were led all the way to the Hokage's office rather than the mission room. Privacy. That was nice of them. It was a little crowded with six of them forming up something that could generously have been called a line, but there was none of the usual jostling and shoving. Even Naruto-kun, it seemed, was disconcerted by the circumstances.

"As you no doubt know, Ino-chan will not be fit for duty for some time. In addition, Sakura-chan has made the decision not to continue full time work in the shinobi profession. While we will be sad not to have her, we support her in her decision and in her future career in the civilian sector. So-"

"Sakura-chan quit? But... she can't. Why would she do that?"

"Her reasons are her own, and she has the right to have them, Naruto. Now..." Naruto opened his mouth to interrupt again, but was quelled with a stern look. "_Now_, that leaves us with two teams short one member. Since we will be rebalancing teams shortly as a result of the upcoming Chuunin exams in any case, we have decided to temporarily combine the teams. Kakashi-sensei will be in command and Asuma-sensei supporting."

Yes. The obvious solution. Asuma-sensei could not be left in charge of a genin team anymore, but it would be done in such a way as to spare him embarrassment. Sasuke-kun stared at Shikamaru and Chouji-kun like he thought they were an illusion, and Naruto-kun remained round-eyed. Chouji-kun didn't react. He hadn't reacted to much, of late, and Shikamaru had no idea what to do about that.

"With two Jounin-sensei," the Hokage continued, "we believe the team to be capable of handling a mission-chain, freeing up some vital shinobi to assist in the exams."

"What's a mission chain?" asked Sasuke with his usual lack of courtesy.

"Strictly, a string of non-time critical missions, each with a starting point at the same end-point as the previous. More colloquially, a set of missions all within the same geographical area, that can be accepted at once and completed any order."

Shikamaru looked at Naruto sharply. Where had that come from? He knew that Naruto's skills had been unfairly judged in the classroom environment, but this was academic knowledge. Had Naruto been fooling him all this time? Naruto shrugged awkwardly, seemingly conscious of all the eyes on him. Shikamaru closed his eyes in pain. He'd been so very wrong in his ability to judge things for a while, it seemed. Since long before it had almost gotten Ino killed.

"As Naruto says. You will travel to the Land of Vegetables to complete seven C-rank missions."

"Hokage-sama," Shikamaru said. "Your pardon, but I am not confident in our ability to complete a C-rank at this time. Especially with teammates whose skills and fighting styles are mutually unfamiliar."

"There shouldn't be any fighting in these missions, Shikamaru-kun. These are all low risk missions, and if the threat level should rise, your Jounin-sensei will remove you from the situation as quickly as possible."

There was an awkward silence in which they carefully avoided looking at Asuma-sensei, and Shikamaru nodded. From now on, they'd be obeying the rules to the letter. It would be all they would be trusted to manage.

"You'll leave tomorrow morning, for a period of three to four weeks. Resupplies will be available on a weekly basis. Dismissed."

They shuffled out.

"This is all your fault," said Sasuke-kun to Naruto-kun.

"I didn't say anything to Sakura-chan-"

"Not Sakura quitting, you idiot. Me not being entered in the Chuunin exams. Didn't you hear the Hokage? They're in Konoha this time around. If we'd done a single C-Rank mission, they would have let me take part. But now we're stuck doing babysitter missions in the Land of bloody Vegetables while everyone else gets promoted to Chuunin."

"Not everybody else, Sasuke-kun." Shikamaru interrupted. "Ino gets to stay in bed, unconscious, because of that one single C-Rank mission. That could have been you, instead."

Sasuke-kun grunted dismissively, and Shikamaru resisted the urge to punch him. Even Naruto-kun and Kakashi-sensei looked like they agreed with Sasuke-kun. A rookie team that had never even left the boundaries of the village was looking down on Ino-san's sacrifice. Shikamaru wanted to cut them down to size, wanted to point out their own weaknesses, wanted to tell them not to judge Ino-san's skills by Sakura-san's. But this was his new team and his new commander, and he did understand his duty to Konoha.

"Sakura shouldn't have quit. We were working together to become stronger. She shouldn't just..." Naruto trailed off.

"She comes from a civilian background, Naruto-kun," said Shikamaru, surprised in himself that he had the energy to attempt to reassure others – Naruto was rather skilled at the 'kicked-puupy' look. "She might have been prepared to risk her life to fulfil a mission, but I doubt she'd fully realised that other people would be risking theirs, too. She's had a shock, and she's retreated to what she feels most comfortable with. Give her some time. She might change her mind and come back to us, and even if she doesn't, you can still visit her whenever you want. She hasn't left the village or become a missing-nin or anything. She's just not on the full time roster anymore."

Shikamaru could visit Ino-san whenever he wanted, too, but that's where the similarity ended.

"It isn't right, though. It's her dream to be a ninja. We should be convincing her not to quit."

Shikamaru had come to an end of his patience and compassion. "You want to convince her? Then we take the fucking missions, and we fucking live. We come back whole and fully conscious, and we show her that _life_ is as much a part of the ninja profession as death is. We work hard, we do our best, and we fucking _succeed_!"

Naruto-kun was staring at Shikamaru round-eyed, but Shikamaru wasn't going to back down. If even one of them had anything to say about his language...

"Yes," Naruto said quietly. "We do our best. Agreed?"

"Agreed," said Chouji.

A beat, but then Sasuke grunted. They were in it together, now. For whatever that was worth.

* * *

Orochimaru retreated to an inner room. The latest communication from Kabuto had arrived, and it wasn't good news. Orochimaru clucked to himself. All that preparation and now the Uchiha wasn't even going to be in the village for the Chuunin exams. He'd have to change his plans. Well, to be more accurate, he'd have to return to his original, safer, plans: take over Konoha. Some people would have thought that convincing Konoha to make their number one criminal Hokage would be an impossible task, but they were amateurs. Orochimaru had no doubts as to his ability to manage it. He'd only gone with the capture and invasion plan before this news because, frankly, it was more fun. Playing the good guy was just so tedious.

But he wasn't a reckless person, and he'd given himself the flexibility to change his approach. Nobody but the Kazekage himself knew that Sound had originally proposed the invasion. Even the Sound ninja themselves were unaware of the details, and would not question orders to fight on behalf of Konoha instead of against them. The more he thought of it, actually, the more entertaining the plan seemed. He'd be the saviour of Konoha instead of its destroyer, and the irony should make up for all the extra work he'd have to do.

Orochimaru settled behind his desk and coded a message to Kabuto, Danzo, and two agents who were under the impression they worked for Jaraiya. No simple poison would kill a high-level ninja of course, so he wouldn't use anything simple. He had a multistage system never used before that could be introduced without alerting anyone. It would be burning all ties with Danzo – the man had some intelligence and would not be happy at being left out of the decision making. Ah well, he needed a scapegoat and he never liked the man anyway. He'd get Danzo to deliver the last (provably 'harmless') dose personally before the Sand invasion, and present him as the traitor once the dust settled. He'd just have to apologise to the spirits of Sarutobi and Jaraiya for lack of a personal touch.

* * *

**Author Notes:**

Well, this is where the dropped pebble has started off the avalanche. Hope this hasn't upset anyone too much :)

Orochimaru has always puzzled me – how could he earn such devoted loyalty from his Sound ninja while acting like the self-centred megalomaniac we see on screen? In this story, he is excellent at diplomacy and strategy – he just wasn't bothering in canon.


End file.
